Poopin' My Pants

We had arrived home less than 48 hours earlier, and Gina and I were all set for our first few relaxing moments of time together.  The past two weeks we'd been in Mexico as a family, and there's nothing I love more than spending time with my wife and children, but there's no "we time" for Gina and I when we're traveling as a family.  That's part we give up when going on family vacation.

Our plane landed in Minneapolis just before midnight on Thursday night, so we ended up getting home to Duluth just a shade before 4 AM on Friday.  After a few fitful hours of sleep and the sun shining through our windows, Gina and I were up and at 'em semi early on Friday.  While Gina went to work cleaning, doing laundry, putting travel items away, and managing overtired children, I went to work for the better part of a full day.  I love to get into work, reconnect with folks, and find out what needs immediate attention right when I get home from traveling.  If I don't, it nags at my mind until it gets done.  Once I know what's going on, then I'm free to rest a bit physically and mentally.

So Friday rolls by like a regular work day, and Saturday we spend most of the day sluggishly getting a few things done at home.  Gina is due to volunteer in the nursery at church, and our older two kids (slightly to our surprise) are voluntarily excited to go to church with her on Saturday night as well.  I stay home with our youngest, as we're both in the middle of long naps that afternoon/evening.

Gina and the kids get home, and we find out that one of their Grandma's is going to have them and our niece over for a sleepover on Saturday night!  Woohoo!  Elijah always goes to bed at a decent time, so Gina and I can see what's on the horizon:  a couple of hours to ourselves to do whatever we feel like doing!  Ah, so nice.

I put Elijah to sleep as Gina is picking up the house, and when we're all set to finally relax, it's only 10 PM (I had to catch a bit of playoff college hockey before our "we" time).

Anyway, we decide to watch a movie from OnDemand on our TV.  We choose a movie called "Crazy, Stupid Love," and just as we're beginning, I feel it.

Gas pains.  Right in my abdomen.  Pretty strong.

So I go to the bathroom to see what I can push out......nothing.

Back to the movie.  After about 20 minutes, gas pains again.  This time I go to the bathroom and poop a little.  Enough to make the gas pains a bit better.

Back to the movie.  Feeling better at this point, we decide to get a snack and soda for the last half of the movie.  After eating my snack, I feel like I might have to go visit the bathroom again......I poop a fair amount.

Now I'm sitting on the toilet, and I'm not sure I'm done, so I just stay there.  Yep, more slight gas pains, more poop.   

And some more poop.

And more poop. 

Now I'm starting to wonder "how much poop is left inside me? I can't keep going like this forever."

Wrong.  More poop.  Sheesh.  Am I made out of poop, or what?

At this point, I'm actually feeling pretty good mentally, because just before the movie started, I was telling Gina that it seems like my nerves are acting up a bit more in the bowel/bladder area, and though it takes extra monitoring (and extra pads so I don't pee my pants too much), the extra activity always seems like a good sign....so overall, I'm glad to have made it to the bathroom without having any accidents.

Whew, finally done pooping.

Back out to the living room.  Gina has fallen asleep waiting for me.  By now it's almost 1 AM.  As she sits up to continue the movie and I'm telling her how great it is that I knew I had to poop and got to the bathroom before having any problems, I feel the back of my pants.

Crap.  There it is.  Literally.  In my pants.

Looks (and feels) like I wasn't done.

For those of you who have never pooped your pants as an adult, let me tell you that it's not a real "fun" feeling.  The only time I think it could be good is if you were sitting on hard floor for a very long time and could really use a little extra padding down there to sit on.

Otherwise, it's not great, let me tell you.  You have to go the bathroom (again), clean yourself up, and take a shower....and then analyze what just happened, and try to trace why it happened and how to prevent it.

Fatigue certainly seems to set it off, and we're trying to figure out the rest of it.  I visit the doctor again on Tuesday, so we'll have plenty to talk about.

Just remember, even if you didn't think you had a great weekend, ask yourself this question:

"Did I poop my pants this weekend?"

If you indeed did not poop your pants, be sure to count that as a check in the "good things" column.

Happy Weekend!